Currently Playing Fiction We Live By From Autumn to Ashes see related

Oh why cant I be what you need
a new improved version of me
but i'm nothing so good no i'm nothing
just bones, a lonely ghost burning down songs
of violence of love and of sorrow
i beg for just one more tomorrow
where you hold me down fold me in
deep deep deep in the heart of your sins
I break in two over you
I break in two And each piece of me dies
And only you can give the breath of life
But you dont see me, you dont...
here i'm in between darkness and light
bleached and blinded by these nights
where im tossing and tortured til dawn by you,
visions of you then youre gone
The shock lifts the red from my face
when i hear someone's taking my place
how could love be so thoughtless, so cruel
when all, all that i did was for you...
i would break in two for you
now you see me
now you don't
now you need me
now you don't.......

Autumn's Monologue- From Autumn to Ashes

Pretty much settled in at Kutztown........YAY! I just moved in on Sunday and I must say that the school has made a great first impression.  I have a very sweet roommate (Becky) and awesome suitemates (Maggie, Rachel, Sam, Allie, Danielle, and Nicole).  I feel like it's going to be a good semester.  Classes don't seem to be too difficult...then again I'll probably be cursing the fact that I have 4 english classes in about 2 weeks so get ready for that. Other then that there's nothing else to report. Stay tuned though....more is bound to happen! Later!!

I hope you don't mind that I put down in words
               How wonderful life is
                              Now you're in the world!!! *mwah* I love you Christopher!

Currently Playing On And On By Jack Johnson see related

-

This time next week, I will FINALLY be at Kutztown and will have gotten through two days of classes. I found out where I'm living and who my roommates are today.  I'm living in University Place which are the Suites on campus and they're brand new so I'm VERY excited about that. I'm going to miss Chris like CRAZY though. Tomorrow is our one month anniversary (its actually probably going to be at around 1am which is awesome cause the earlier we can celebrate the better! lol)

I have so much to do this week before school.....aside from packing and shopping I also need to go out to various dinners with friends, sales associates, and family....so much to do and not a lot of time to do it in.  Tomorrow is my last day at Pier 1 and I'm not too broken up about it lol. No more drama and no more stress.  Now I can finally focus on school and getting the job that I actually WANT.

Alright I found this survey in someone's live journal and I decided to give it a go since I'm bored and feeling pretty lazy so here goes....

1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?
Became reunited with the guy I always wanted....

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I didnt make any last year but mine for this year are to drink more water (a la Aquafina commercial...marketing brainwashing at its finest), be more tolerant of others and my family, and stay with what is right and treats me well (aka Chris)

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
my sister in law and my sister is now pregnant and giving birth in June

i dont know what happened to four....

5. What countries did you visit?
the Dominican Republic

6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
ONE steady boyfriend for a long time and great friends (i had great friends in '04 but SOME in other places were lacking)

7. What date from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
the day I left UConn.........*tear*

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
getting awesome grades yet again and finally sticking up for myself in many situations

9. What was your biggest failure?
losing touch with old friends

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
yea.....ummm i kinda broke my nose by running into a wall....yes you can say it...im a pollock

11. What was the best thing you bought?
a pair of Lucky Brand jeans

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
hmmmmmmm no one is really sticking out

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
some of the guys I met and even some girls up at NCC

14. Where did most of your money go?
Clothes and Shoes!!!!!!

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
some concerts and christmas!!!

16. What song will always remind you of 2004?
Brand New- Soco Amaretto Lime since it's the last year I will be 18...so much for being 18 forever

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: happier, sadder?
MUCH happier

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
stayed in touch with some people

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
worked

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
well since this is PAST christmas....i spent it with my family and with Chris of course!

20. How will you be spending New Years?
again, it already passed...but i also spent it with family, Julie, and Chis (again of course)

22. Did you fall in love in 2004?
Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees

23. How many one-night stands?
none

24. What was your favorite TV program?
Ummmmm the OC.....duh! and it was the year of the FRIENDS finale (tear)

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Yes because now I realize the potential of cruelty of some people that I've met

26. What was the best book you read?
short story....Harrison Bergeron by Kurt Vonnegut

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Howie Day, Hawthorne Heights and Coheed (apparently I just never listened very closely and realized I liked them at some times)

28. What did you want and got?
an iPod....got it for Christmas

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
ummmmmm Dodgeball?? lol I dunno i didnt see too many this year

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 19 and I was in NYC in the audience of The View where I met the 4 ladies and Donald Trump....then i went and saw the US womens soccer team and met Brandi Chastain and Julie Foudy!!

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
mmmmmmmm losing more weight (even though 15lbs was plenty to start with)

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
jeans....shirt....birkenstocks....with my very own Nicole Ciesla flair to the outfit of COURSE!

34. What kept you sane?
Julie Tice lol and music

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Johnny Depp..............................................LOVE HIM

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
the entire election....but hell yeah for 4 more years!!!!!!!!!

37. Who did you miss?
my UConners!!!!!!!!!!

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Julie Marie Tice!!!!!!!!!!

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004.
If you tip toe through life....you don't get the full effect.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

"And when the curtains close
I'll realize how fast time can go
Thanks for everything
You know how much this means."

The Starting Line (cliche....but it sums it up!)

Currently Playing Give Up By Postal Service see related

- Such Great Heights

Long time since my last entry....a lot has gone down in the last few weeks and there probably is not enough room in this editing box to relay it all to you.

The semester, after this week, is finally over. I am done with the horrifying experience that has been community college...basically it has been one giant high school flashback. Of course on top of the negatives (ie: the drama and the immaturity) there have also been some bad ass positives (ie: making awesome new friends, inside jokes, and general weekend shinanigans). I'm going to miss my new friends when I go to Kutztown but I atleast know I am only 45 minutes away so yes JULIE can come and visit me. Yeah, let me just take a second and talk about that chick for a second...if you wanna talk about a real straight forward fun person to hang out with, she's your gal! She has been so nice to me and has been a great friend...which I must say is a feeling that I have lost touch with over this last semester here in PA...I know what it's like to be forgotten now and I knew it was coming...it's not that I didn't try either. There's only so much that can be done until you being to borderline annoyance.  Julie just made me realize again how much fun it is to be with friends and people that care. I've met a lot of "friends" this semester at NCC, but she has managed to remain as THE one and only best buddy I have in Penn.

Ah, now on to the love front...allow me to enlighten you on my love life/relationship status with a brief metaphor.  Squirrels like acorns. Acorns are always around and can always be looked upon as a constant in a squirrels life for food and in general, love.  After a while, the squirrel wants to see what else is out there besides just the acorns.  Finally, the squirrel comes across a delicious apple that has fallen from the same tree as the acorn.  The apple is delicious, but the squirrel still enjoys all that the acorn has to offer. It's just at this point in time...the squirrel wishes to experience what the apple has to offer.  There are acorns all over the world, and squirrels as well.  If a squirrel falls in love with an acorn only found far far away, it would die of starvation if it held out for that type of acorn instead of finding something closer.  It just so happens that the apple has fallen away from its evil tree to join this squirrel and fill the void in this poor little squirrel's tummy. You see what I mean..............? 

Moving on, my next semester schedule is going to be a rough one....American Lit, British Lit, Women in Lit, Teaching Adolescent Lit, and Criticisms in Art....hooray for the world of being an English major I guess. I'm very excited just to be back in that sort of atmosphere and I am really looking forward to it.